Great day!
I hope this post finds you well.
If not, stop what you are doing and smile! You may feel strange, but try it!
Thank you for your visit to my page! You are more appreciated than you know!
This is the next post in the mini-series. Once this set is completed - I’ve got several more planned and upcoming!
So, after a certain point with this situation I had found myself in, I slowly began to understand more deeply the guidance and help I had around me. Not always physical; it was more spiritual, etheric or unseen.
From small occurrences to undeniable situations. What could seem to an outsider, as coincidence. What I experienced, felt like there was no way I was in this alone.
If I know anything, it is that things don't just happen. At least not to me anyway! Everything happens for a reason and in nearly every situation in my life, big to small, I can relate or correlate the synchronicities occurring to make things happen.
In my posts and poetry, I often reflect on some of these situations I've been in, alluding to particular happenings in my life, delving into my actions and the ways I’ve found to overcome. All without going into too much detail.
In due time, I suppose... I can't reveal aaalll of my secrets! Ha
But in reality, I have faced some pretty dark shit. And through most of it, I felt completely alone in what I was going through. Despite having others around me, I felt I could talk to no one. No one would or could understand what was happening to me or what I was going through. And for me growing up, I had gotten so accustomed to having anything I said, in confidence, to another twisted or used against me and thrown in my face.
So naturally, I keep to myself.
As an adult, interacting with others and seeing how they handle situations, I realized this may not be the best way. Yes, it is important to keep some things to yourself. Having personal privacy that only a select few, if any, can access. But to contain everything that ails within is ultimately poison to the mind and body. It is so important to have these outlets to express and help find what may be holding us back.
Now back to this guidance, some may call them spirit guides, guardian angels, watchers or simply the Universe working with them. I have found clues to the unfoldment of my life in various and the most random places. In many cases, I would miss things or brush occurrences off as happenstance until I started learning to understand and piece these bits together.
The ways this guidance comes in can be, and most times is, different for everyone.
In this particular situation, I began getting hints and clues that I would soon be required to face this person who caused so much damage to my mind and my life. Throughout several years of healing and processing and letting go of this situation and this person, I was shown that they would cross my path again.
The lesson was to see if I was truly over the situation and healed enough to come face to face with the person who had completely turned my life upside down at one point.
After going no contact, changing phone numbers, relocating and more, I garnered a small amount of confidence that I may never see this person again. There was always this underlying level of fear in me, however, that this was not the case.
A fear that I carried everywhere I went.
From constantly looking over my shoulder to making the block a few times before I'd go home to ensure I wasn't being followed. I knew this person had many associates, had found me before and would not hesitate to do it again for another sick game.
As I tried to go on with my life, heal my mind and slow begin to allow people into my life again, there always seemed to be this window into my world. Somehow, allowing this person to find me and ways to contact me. It seemed almost inescapable for so long.
Learning of this fated meeting, all sorts of feelings came up; terror, rage, fear, anger, sadness, guilt. It was like my body and mind were inundated as all of these feelings and thoughts came rushing back in. What would be said, how it would go, where this would take place all just kept running through my head on repeat like a movie.
The visions seemed relentless. But as I slowed down and paid attention to the information I was getting on this supposed meet-up, I was able to piece it together. Seeing what, when, where and how this would happen and also finding my power in the situation.
All scenarios played out, from me stocking my car with all sorts of weapons to protect myself, just in case something were to happen, to having fail-safes and backup plans if things went awry. It flooded my mind constantly the what ifs and what could happen. Knowing what this person was capable of in the past, I put nothing to chance. I wanted to be fully prepared should this proposed meeting happen.
I knew this person had no control over me or my life anymore. I understood that, but something in me feared this person getting too close and somehow being able to tear down all that I had built up again.
Tbc…
This poem came to mind in the midst of this fated occurrence. The poem also includes an underlying topic that I will get into in a later post. But, for the most part, the reference is in learning despite the ugliness and horrors that can come from another person; matching energy like that is simply healthy for no one, especially when you have to lower yourself to get on another's level.
What goes around always comes back, and what you put out into the world good or bad always finds its way back to you, at some time, in some way and somehow. Most often when least expected. And if I learned anything from my past (Asked Twice) I knew that what could potentially come from this situation would cause irreparable damage and suffering to not only me but anyone or anything I loved, would love or would ever be a part of me at any point in time.
'Losing more strings of the heart'
'as I learned the art'I know no type of revenge that is worth it to me. Everyone gets what is needed to learn the lessons afforded to them in this lifetime.
And from what I have been told and shown, this person has had to face themselves many times over, as we all do. I would never wish bad on anyone and ultimately all I can do is pray for healing in all aspects.
I am free
Relatable quotes:
I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.
~Friedrich Nietzsche,
The trap of manipulation ends when you don't bite the hook.
Tight
They wanted me to face the monster.
When they knew I was ill prepared and would surely see defeat.
Not to be shamed - I stepped right up and slayed that wretched beast. Watching his life force drain
as I squeezed.
Bone crushing with bulged eyes
that now bleed.
It was a real treat.
I'll say - quite the feast.
New crest on my chest yet I still failed this test.
Killing the demon was never that hard.
Prophecized down to the letter
by that old ancient bard.
Just wanted a little vengance - for all my scars.
Lessons said best not to take it that far. Losing
more strings of the heart.
The rush makes it hard to stop
once you start. As I learned the art.
So needless to say, I didn't take a lost souls life - that day.
Just a little word play. But the demon
stayed away. First time's a warning - next time
won't be that way.
~Ruby L.S.~
©️2023I.S.
Thank you for taking the time to connect with my work.
⁂In Love
🪶Introverted Sage
Links:
Appreciate my work and want to support…